Lesson # 9 & # 10

Lesson # 9 The only accurate generalization is: No generalization is accurate. (So beware of all my posts from the beginning of this blog.)

Lesson # 10 It's always a good idea to be kind to a person who has done you no harm. Even if it's easier not to. Why? you ask? Probably because it's the right thing to do, and there's no nobility in bullying an easy target.

Also, remember the occasions when YOU were the easy target and kindness was shown. Remember the immense wave of gratitude that you felt roll out of you to the other person, and think that someone else could be feeling that way about you.

Wouldn't that be nice? So be nice.

Lesson # 8: Don’t give in to the ‘Cool Police’.

Every few months people will change their ideas as to what is ‘cool’. But surprisingly for something that’s so changeable, they’ll be complete Nazis about whatever the current fad is.

I of course true to form waded into the bell bottoms-resurgence era wearing skinny stretch genes much to the amusement of all. 10 years later when all the women are trotting about ludicrously in skinny jeans and pencil heels (like a troop of hippopotami), it finally registered that the cut I favoured is uncool. My brain of course had processed a decade-old message and as I started flapping around in a pair of bell botts and flip flops it eluded me why there was so much pointed staring at the immediate vicinity of my legs and feet. Strange, I would comment to myself and hurry off, looking like, I presume, Jumbo about to take flight.

Similarly, I’ve bought several pairs of Patiala salwars two months after everyone changed to wearing tights and short kameezes. I coloured my hair the day after black hair became the rage. I’ve discarded my thick frames because they’re broken from all the times I’ve thrust them into my bag because they’re uncool , just when all the hip people start wearing them.

This isn’t me being an iconoclast, this is me never being able to catch up with these furiously changing fashions. So I’ve now decided that the best course is to simply find out what suits your body type, and face and hair and STICK to it, and if they change, change your style accordingly. Thinking back in retrospect, I’ve done justice to that philosophy. When I was skinny and my legs looked good in skinny jeans, I wore them. When I was chubby I wore bell botts. When I had money I coloured my hair. Simple.

So my message is, if you can’t be one of the fashionable people, call them Nazis and be done with it.

Jokes aside, what my actual point is, style should be more about what suits you and your pocket rather than sometimes ridiculous fads that make people look like they’ve come off an assembly line. Also remember, it can’t possibly look UGLY because it was the height of fashion at SOME time, hence MUST be flattering (at least to 80 year old men). Take my jeans example, I was laughed at for my skinny jeans by the same people who I presume are happily preening themselves in a pair right now as you read this.

Similarly in any other sphere of culture. There are some things you take your life into your hands by admitting to enjoy. I enjoy …do I dare? The occasional Britney Spears/Michael Bolton/Backstreet Boys number, especially when I’m er… boogying. Oh, but if I say that in polite company, I only escape being lynched because they’re squeamish about touching my Bell Bottoms (bad fashion sense is contagious by touch).

There are also fashionable books, fashionable movies, etc etc. You HAVE to say you enjoyed Catch-22 whether you actually did or not. Ditto Pulp Fiction.
Well I DIDN’T OK, I DIDN’T, and I LOVE Michael Jackson. Do what you will with me.

Lesson #7

Anything, and I mean ANYTHING can be given a positive or negative spin, depending on how the speaker is disposed towards the person in question. “He didn’t cry at all at his wife’s funeral, I always knew he had a heart of stone.” (Disgusted shake of the head.) “He didn’t cry at all at his wife’s funeral, he’s always been the bravest person I know!” (A slow nod of approbation and a sympathetic twist of the lips.)

Lesson # 5 & 6

Lesson # 5 It’s a sad but true fact that the people you love most are the ones you yell at and make the most miserable. While the ones you hate get off scot free.

Lesson # 6 The very fact that you think you know everything there is to know proves that you don’t. Also that a lot of people find you profoundly annoying.

Lesson # 4: It's never over.

There's always more toothpaste in the tube.

Lesson # 3: Things.

Something else crucial to remember is “All things shall pass.”

Ok, MOST things. (Things = People, situations, your own personality traits which makes life difficult) Some things just hang around all your life making you miserable till the day you die. The good news (of course I talk about good news in my blog, sillies.) is even in those cases; you get more and more anaesthetized to how much they bother you.

But apart from those eternal thorns in your side; there are some things which might bother you spectacularly at some point; but seem astonishingly trivial a few years down the line.

Perfect the art of throwing your mind a few years into the future every time you think this is the worst you’ve ever felt – and you will always see that the worst is yet to come. What seems earth shattering right now will be shoved neatly into perspective by the next horror that awaits you around the corner.

And then you will feel positively Zen about any bad thing that happens to you.

I hope my lessons are helping you, boys and girls, to lead a happier, more productive life.
I’m glad to help.

Lesson # 2

It is very important, if you’d like to survive a full-sized life on earth, to have a sense of humour about yourself. It’s easy to laugh at other people, but are you secure enough to laugh at yourself? More often than not it’s, “that person is a failure, the other person is ugly; but my neighbour’s sister-in-law said that her cousin’s friend thought I was attractive. I was looking lovely in that sari that day. Blue is my color. Of course so is every other color. I’m talented too. Did I mention I can sing and dance? At the same time? With a pot balanced on my head as I hop on one leg?” Brrr…get a life, you desperate Loser.

If you don’t take yourself too seriously the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune won’t cut you as deep. How pitiable is the above person when someone finally tells her to her face that blue, and every other color besides, is definitely not her color. And had she stubbed her toe on something? She sounded like she was in a lot of pain, too.

However, I would like to warn my younger and ergo, less experienced readers, that self deprecation has its own pitfalls. If you get too carried away, you might end up with low self esteem, with you and the people around you believing every horrible thing you say about yourself.
I guess what I’m saying is one should be self respectful, but not delusional. Be prepared to laugh at the embarrassing things that happen to you. But never run yourself down to such an extent that people think it’s OK to join in. (“She’s always carrying on about her weight! How would I know she didn’t want ‘Happy Birthday You Big Fatty!’ written on her birthday cake?”)

Same goes for laughing at your own community, country, gender. It doesn't mean you aren't proud of your identity. It just means you're alive to the foibles and flaws of your group; and thus that much closer to improving those things.
I have often been accused of not being patriotic enough because I’ve had the balls to discuss some common flaw all of us have.

Please remember, Boys and Girls -- Denial does not equal Self Respect.